— A serious project. Probably.
I identify
as utility.
The first coin with aggressively undefined use cases. We don't have utility — we are utility. Big difference. Trust.
Ticker: $GUDTEKUse case: yesAudit: vibe-checked
Utility-O-Meter™live · on-chain · probably
0.00%
Reading sourced directly from the cope-chain. Past utility is not indicative of future utility.
0% useless50% mid100% (unreachable)
Features.
All 100% real, source: broF-01
Stakeless staking
Stake nothing. Earn nothing. But on-chain.
F-02
AI (it's an if statement)
Powered by one (1) ternary operator. Buzzword compliant.
F-03
Cross-chain (in spirit)
Compatible with every chain you can imagine. Imagine harder.
F-04
DAO governance
Vote on proposals. Proposals are ignored. Democracy.
F-05
Real-world asset
Backed by a JPEG of a banana. Notarized by a friend.
F-06
Zero-knowledge
We have zero knowledge. Of anything. It's a feature.
— Tokenomics
100% allocated to vibes
- Vibes69%
- Copium reserve20%
- Team (my cat)10%
- Marketing (this site)1%
- Utility0%
Supply
1,000,000,000
give or take a zero
Roadmap
Subject to vibesQ1shipped
Launch
We launched. Somehow.
Q2shipped
Add utility
Skipped. Identified as utility instead.
Q3soon™
Whitepaper
Written entirely in Comic Sans. Lost it.
Q4soon™
Partnerships
In talks with a vending machine.
Q∞soon™
Utility (real this time)
lol
FAQ
Frequently Avoided QuestionsQ — Wait, what does it actually do?
A — It IS. That's the doing.
Q — Is there a product?
A — You're looking at it. The site is the product.
Q — How is this utility?
A — Have you considered identifying differently?
Q — Should I buy?
A — We are legally, morally, and spiritually incapable of saying yes.