— Suite of tools. Suite of nothing.
Utilities (kinda)
Real utilities. Real useless. Pick one and feel productive.
U-01
Is it Monday?
Mission-critical day-of-the-week resolver.
awaiting query…
U-02
Bro-ifier
Injects 'bro' every two words. Patent pending.
output, bro.
U-03
Coin Flip (rigged)
Provably unfair. Audited by the same guy.
coin pending…
U-04
Random Useless Number
Sourced directly from the cope-chain.
0000000?
U-05
Are we rich yet?
Real-time portfolio status.
checking the bags…
U-06
Vibes translator
Converts mumbling into pure, uppercase vibes.
>>> ... <<<
— Now financialized. Still useless.
DeFi (kinda)
CA: GAMn7bCzsDo1Diqmz6q9xJUiF2xCSN6pkJe6Exezpump
U-07
MCAP checker (real!)
Live from DexScreener. Yes, this one actually works.
press the button, anon
U-08
Holder count
On-chain census. * unaudited.
counting frens…
U-09
Is it pumping?
Real 24h delta. Real emotional damage.
candle pending…
U-10
Liquidity check
Stress-tested under one (1) market sell.
liquidity tbd…
U-11
Audit status
Independent third-party (his name is Chad).
pending review…
U-12
Diamond hands score
Quantifies your inability to sell.
hands ungraded
— Touch grass not included.
Life (kinda)
U-13
Should I touch grass?
Outdoor advisory service.
indoor pending…
U-14
Excuse generator
Plausible deniability as a service.
no excuse yet…
U-15
Decision maker
Outsource your free will. Comma-separated.
awaiting options…
U-16
Productivity score
Quantified self, qualitatively wrong.
unscored